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July 3rd, 2008

Day 47: A Turn For The Worst

Today was def an emotionally draining day. After receiving word that he has Chlamydia, Luke has been freaking out; complete insanity. It's bad enough that he went missing for 2 days and had no recollection of it, now to find out that you've contracted an STD in the process? I couldn't imagine. I mean I'm So beyond happy that it's not HIV or anything.. at least Chlamydia isn't a death sentence and can certainly be treated but it still really sucks. I'm trying to put myself in his shoes; to just literally come out of the closet on national tv a month ago only to be exposed to a foreign world of drugs and promiscuity that surfaces in gay culture is quite overwhelming. It's not to say he went looking for it necessarily, it found him. I mean, to an extent, Lucas was raped. That shit can fuck you up mentally and it's doing just that. He's been in tears all day, in bed, just really down. A few hours ago he has a panic attack and wanted to leave and head back home. It's all too much for him to handle, but it would break my heart to see him leave early. He's a good kid and I feel with the right help and support he can get through this. I'm willing to be there for him, I just want him to complete this experience and really try and get something from it as crazy as that may sound right now. Then you have Breanne who also had a mini breakdown due to the possibility of Lucas leaving the house. She was hysterical! Those 2 are pretty close in the house so I guess his departure would obviously affect the remainder of her stay here. She kept threatening if he goes, I go...I understand her frustration and worry but honestly I feel like that's not really helpful at this point. Granted she is going through her problems with eating and body image, Lucas has just been through a tragic experience and rather than her try and help him get through it, she just wants to leave the house with him. Kinda lame in my opinion. But after hours of talking and reassuring, Aaralyn and I were able to calm him down and just really get him to think about everything and to not make rash decision. He agreed to do the whole therapy stunt which would be SO helpful I think, so I'm really happy about that. I can't bare to see anyone leave this house early. Even though this might not be the best environment currently, I feel the 8 of us have something to gain from this whole experience...




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